A reader submitted 300 words for free editing. Suggested changes are below in red.
The first point is that you have used the pronoun “they” for an unspecified person. I know this avoids the gender question of he or she, but to a grammatical purist it’s wrong because “they” is for a plural subject. Some people would insist on using “he” regardless of the sexist implication. I think the best solution is to alternate using “he” and “she” in the balance of the essay. These two paragraphs lack focus. I can see that you are struggling with the topic of the purpose of life, but you don’t have a clear direction. In the first paragraph you say the purpose is “whom we are living for” but then in the next paragraph you dance around the idea without going anywhere.
Here are some ideas: the purpose of life is to be of service. This means to contribute to society. Some forms of contribution include citizenship: participating in elections, volunteering, community activism, or just engaging in a positive way with one’s neighbours. Service can also mean being a good family member: spouse, child, parent. Being of service to the community can also mean being an environmental leader. This includes making lifestyle choices that reduce the general impact on the environment. People who choose to use public transit when driving a car is more convenient are being of service to us all.
Everyone at some point in their life wants to know that if they have a purpose in life. But what exactly are we living for? Why are we living? Some say that we are living to be happy and to have fun in our live while others say that we are living to make money or to get ahead in the time we have, I say that we are living for someone else, someone who really is important to you in everyway. It’s not a matter of why were born or why we are alive. It’s a matter of “whom we are living for.” Some of us don’t really want to be the most important things to everyone but we at least want to know that we are wanted or needed by one person or another.
Most people reach a point of pure selfishness where we seek love or friendship for the feeling that we are being appreciated, however, during this process, there are others who can’t fulfill the needs of others. You cannot always be there for everyone because people these days are having enough trouble trying to be there for one person that they truly love. Everyone cannot be superman and help people but the ones you do help does make a difference. Some people don’t want to be famous or well-known to everyone, but they want to be known as something special to someone that they really care about.
It’s basically saying that it’s nearly impossible to be meaningful and important to everyone even though that is an admirable aspiration. It’s just not realistic. If you do attain that level of significance, it’s an amazing accomplishment; however, it is not a necessary achievement to be great or important.
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