Men, women and conflict

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Here’s a nice little paragraph:

Also psychologically different, men and women typically respond in differ ways to emotion. While men tend to react violently, women react by communicating in a friendly way because women are believed to naturally be more in tuned to others emotions and feelings than men. According to Sigmund Freud, “women show less sense of justice than men, that they are less ready to submit to the great exigencies of life, that they are more often influenced in their judgments by feelings of affection or hostility” (Gilligan, 802). Freud is stating his belief that women show less sense of justice than men because they are more emotionally driven and less rational. Communication also seems to vary by gender, since it has been observed that men and women react differently to conflict. Woman shall more likely attempt to discuss the conflict, while men are more introverted in resolving the problem.

In the first sentence, we must change the word “differ,” which is a verb, to “differing,” which looks more like a verb, but acts like an adjective. The next sentence has an error of logic. Do women react in a friendly way because we believe they are more in tune with others’ emotions, or do we believe that because of our observations on how women react? Next comes a quote embedded into the sentence with APA Style used correctly. Beautiful! But there are a couple of grammatical errors within the quote, so the writer should be checking their source very carefully to make sure the quote was transcribed correctly. The word “tuned” is used where “tune” should be and there’s a lost apostrophe on “others'” The following sentence gets the logic right. Finally we have a verb error in the last sentence. All together we have:

Also psychologically different, men and women typically respond in differing ways to emotion. While men tend to react violently, women react by communicating in a friendly way. Therefore women are believed to naturally be more in tune to others’ emotions and feelings than men. According to Sigmund Freud, “women show less sense of justice than men, that they are less ready to submit to the great exigencies of life, that they are more often influenced in their judgments by feelings of affection or hostility” (Gilligan, 802). Freud is stating his belief that women show less sense of justice than men because they are more emotionally driven and less rational. Communication also seems to vary by gender, since it has been observed that men and women react differently to conflict. Woman are more likely attempt to discuss the conflict, while men are more introverted in resolving the problem.

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